February 2012
11 posts
3 tags
Happy Valentine's Day
“Happy Valentine’s Day” text message from Kutlu (Turkish guy)… really? REALLY? We haven’t talked in 5 months but I guess he was thinking of me just like I was thinking of him.
Last year on this day I was in Istanbul with him. We went to go see the movie Biutiful. I remember sitting next to him and having my hands in his hair the whole time. I remember eating at the...
2 tags
3 tags
It's not over til the last text
George texted me back. He said it’s nice to hear from me and then told me that he’s out in LA for some gallery show of his and was dead tired, which is why he couldn’t respond to my msg before.
I texted him back and apologized for the cold email from last week saying I was going through a lot at the time and that I hadn’t heard from him in a while when I wrote it.
He said...
4 tags
I did something stupid
I sent George a text two nights ago saying I’d been thinking about him and if he felt like it he could call or text me back. Unfortunately for me, he didn’t respond yesterday. And I just felt so stupid for having reached out. Especially because I did it on an impulse… A stupid STUPID impulse.
Yes- I’d been thinking about him nonstop since I ended it; Yes-I regretted the...
3 tags
Question: How can l learn to love?
13 February
Real Love Means You Think Of The Welfare Of Others
Sri Gurudev: Wanting to love itself is the beginning. And if you want to love, then you should know how to love. Real love means you think of the welfare of others. You do everything for the sake of others. You don’t put yourself first. If others do something to you in return, it’s all right; accept it, but ...
4 tags
2 tags
2 tags
5 tags
Hello again, goodbye
Yesterday was a really really strange day. I felt the energy of it pretty heavily and even before I left the house I knew that it wasn’t going to be a day like any other.
The whole day I felt like calling George. I felt like meeting up with him again-to have sex, to talk, to be in his company. A part of me knew it was just my loneliness and that he was the most available guy to me at...
2 tags
I ended it with George. He was on tour for the past month and after not hearing him in 3 weeks and not caring enough to call him I decided there was no point in dragging this out. This constant back and forth in my mind wasn’t worth it- not with him anyway.
I deleted his number and figured if he hadn’t called in that long he probably wasn’t going to. And then my phone rang, and...
2 tags
Celebrity Sighting
So I went into a cafe around my job to get some coffee (duh) and in comes this super hot guy who I can’t stop staring at. I look away because it’s just plain rude to stare that much and then I look back once more and I stand there wondering, ‘where do I know this guy from?’
I order my ice coffee-February 1st and it was 60 degrees in NYC, unbelievable!-and go upstairs to...
January 2012
17 posts
4 tags
nyc transplant.: Currently: Mentally Unstable. →
I feel the exact same way. Two weeks now and I haven’t heard from George-the nice guy who responds to my emails and texts with phone calls, who makes me art, who sends letters has disappeared. Granted, he is on tour but it wasn’t like this last time and I did meet his family just before he left. Strange but I’m taking it all in stride- I have lots of things going on in my...
1 tag
4 tags
4 tags
2 tags
It's not you, it's me
The reason why the sex is so great is not you, it’s me. It’s because I’ve become comfortable in my own body, I’ve learned to embrace my every curve, my every scar, and my every imperfection. I used to only have sex with the lights off but now I’d rather have sex with them on- because I want you to see who you’re fucking. I used to let your fingers explore on...
2 tags
To dance alone
Did you know that it’s perfectly OK, even highly ideal, to claim all is well amongst doubt and confusion? To be happy in spite of challenges? To laugh at problems? Dance without a partner? Sing without a rhyme? Talk to inanimate objects?
Oddly, most don’t.
You so rock, The Universe
3 tags
Cold and heartless
Is it true that when you act like you could give a flying fuck about dating the guys just flock to you? YES.
Is it true when you act distant and emotionally unavailable then the guys just want more? YES.
Is it true that by being this way and not true to your heart and soul you will never find a fulfilling relationship? YES.
3 tags
4 tags
Today was the worst day I’ve had in a long time. It showed me there are more important things than obsessing over a guy. Especially when it’s a guy you can’t even call in a time of crisis. But I also realized that I have some great friends and people I can lean on for support and for that I am oh so thankful. Hopefully things will get better. 2012 so far has been a bit...
5 tags
Happier Alone
I always said I’d be happier alone. I’d have my friends, my work. But someone in your life all the time is more trouble than it’s worth, but apparently I got over it. … There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t because I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I love someone and it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn you...
2 tags
5 tags
Catherine Townsend is my hero
For anyone who doesn’t know, Catherine Townsend is the author of Sleeping Around: Secrets of a Sexual Adventuress and Breaking The Rules: Confessions of a Bad Girl-two hilarious sexually liberating books for women. Her stories (all true) are must reads! … I might have to write my own book one day ;)
3 tags
3 tags
Meet the parents
Last night was lovely. I got to hear travel stories from George’s dad’s girlfriend (and share a few of my own), practice German with George’s grandmother, laugh with his brothers, and take my relationship with George to a whole new level.
When we parted for the night, something felt different. Maybe it was just me and the fact that I had stepped outside of my comfort zone by...
2 tags
New Yorkers are neurotic
My symptoms are in bold. Holy eff- I need therapy!
Signs and symptoms
There are many different specific forms of neurosis: obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety neurosis, hysteria (in which anxiety may be discharged through a physical symptom), and a nearly endless variety of phobias as well as obsessions such as pyromania. According to Dr. George Boeree, effects of neurosis can involve:
...
6 tags
Relating
I feel like I have no idea how to relate to other people anymore, at least not to the people I am currently surrounded by. When I say I meditated for New Years they just stare at me like I’m some kind of freak- like OMG, you didn’t go out and get wasted and party till the crack of dawn? Um no, I didn’t. And when they ask me about some current movie, tv show, or music and I...
December 2011
23 posts
5 tags
On the verge of a complete emotional breakdown
I don’t know what I did or what happened but I haven’t seen or spoken to George in days. He was supposed to come to my photo show opening but didn’t, and didn’t even call/write/text to apologize. That’s so unlike him. Now I’m left wondering, what did I do to push him away? Maybe he could feel my internal debate about whether or not to end it between us? Maybe he...
3 tags
Changes
Lately I am confused about everything in my life. I can’t make a decision about anything. I feel stuck! I want 2012 to be a good year with decisions made and a great path ahead but I need to get a clear head… it’s foggy in here!
5 tags
xxxxxxxx
If the sex is so good, then why then do I always want to end it between George and me? Why don’t I know how to be in a casual relationship? Why can’t sex, for me, just be sex? I hate this!
I am trying to make our relationship into a business one. I am not seeing him too often, I’m being friendly but not acting like his friend, and I’m trying really hard to keep our...
3 tags
The most disturbingly hilarious dating profile ever created by a non-murderer.
< CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE >
We definitely won’t murder anyone who immediately declares that this thing may not be new. We’re not totally sure when it’s from so if you write in the comments something like “god, this is so 2008,” we certainly won’t show up at your home...
1 tag
2 tags
50 dating rules for smart girls who don't need...
If you watch enough romantic comedies or read enough Cosmo, you’ll be led to believe that women are either:
A) Unlovable Lepers B) Whiny, needy and pathetic C) Waiting on a man to save them
Well you know what I say to that; BULLOCKS! For every love starved fictional female character, there is a kick ass woman who understands that love is great but it doesn’t make or break her.
Contrary to...
Train bumping
As big as this city is, once in a while you bump into someone you know… or kinda know but not really. That’s what happened to me today.
On my subway ride home I saw this guy I went out with once a few months back. I know he saw me when he got on because I caught him looking at me like he was wondering where he knew me from. I glanced up at him to make sure he was who I thought he was...
3 tags
2 tags
2 tags
FULL MOON
It’s a full moon tonight- no wonder I feel all weepy and sad and want to be alone and pretend no one else exists. Thanks full moon. Thanks a lot.
5 tags
Fuck the world
Whiskey Karaoke Party for job #1- AWESOME AND CHILL AND FUN! Sang: Violent Femmes and that song Pump it Up and Beastie Boys (with a woman who went to HS with the Beastie Boys) and Killin’ Me Softly. Drank whiskey and gingerale (my favorite) and did not want to leave!
Vodka posh magazine party for job #2- Stuck up and annoying, free VODKA coktails-I HATE vodka, guy I like showed up but we...
1 tag
Trying hard
Is it ok to pursue a guy, to be the one making all the moves? I met this guy a few days ago through work and thought he was really cute. I actually had been in contact with him before (phone call/emails) while I was setting up this video shoot which he was a part of and after checking him out on Facebook I had a feeling I’d dig him.
On the set for the video shoot I couldn’t stop...
4 tags
3 tags
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” - Sex in the City
3 tags
Relief
Text to Nick:
You’ve apologized three times (Pathetic)! And I already told you when I’m free (Annoying). I don’t think it’s going to work out. Too much back and forth (way too much fucking back and forth). Good luck and take care (sting).
I feel such a sense of relief dropping Nick. Now I just have to decide about George. I haven’t broken up ended it with him,...
3 tags
Sorry sorry sorry... SHUT UP!
Thursday:
Nick: Hey I’m sorry but I won’t be able to make it out tonight. I have to finish an application for a residency that’s due tomorrow so I need to stay in and do it. Let’s meet up soon.
Me: -No Reply-
Saturday:
Nick: Hey sorry I couldn’t make it out thurs. I got behind on stuff. Let me know if there’s another day that works for you. It’d be...
4 tags
2 tags
SURVEY
What is the best way to break up with someone you’re in a casual relationship with (note: you’ve been seeing him for 3 months and he’s a nice guy)?
a. write him an email
b. send him a text
c. call him
d. tell him face to face
4 tags
2 tags
Heather's
I went out last night to a lesbian bar and had the best night I’ve had in a while.
Drank great whiskey drinks (whiskey is now my favorite alcohol), danced to awesome 90’s music (80’s parties be damned), and didn’t get hit on or groped all night.
But when I casually talked to a girl who looked like she was taking mental notes on how people were dancing, five minutes into...
2 tags
When I'm on my period, I have four emotions: →
funniest10k:
Hungry as fuck:
Angry as fuck:
Sad as fuck:
and lastly, Irritated as fuck
= END OF THE WORLD.
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard